Updated Sunday August 19, 2018 16:13 Houston time
NOTE: I'm posting this now so that students can get a jump on the reading, but I'm still working on the specific homework assignments.
Welcome. This Web page is the portal for Professor Toedt's fall 2018 Contract Drafting course. See the following quick links:
- the table of contents at the top right of your browser window
- the general course information, including grading
- the virtual whiteboard ( 4:00 p.m. section | 6:00 p.m. section )
- the flashcards — the midterm quizzes and part of the final exam will be based in large part on these and future flashcards
- the homework
The main reading material will be:
• On Contract Drafting, still very much a work in progress (especially as we shift to doing more rewriting). I intend to keep making it available at no charge; I'm trying to set it up to print out nicely for those who prefer hard copy. Students are encouraged to make suggestions and comments as the semester progresses;
• the Common Draft annotated catalog of contract terms, a side project of mine that I'm converting into a book; and
• a Supplement, consisting of several real-world contracts that I've annotated and printed to PDF. We'll study selected portions of these contracts.
2.2 This course's approach
Following the sales-and-marketing principles of (i) using social proof, and (ii) "setting the hook," here are some representative student comments from official course evaluations in past semesters:
• "I liked the practical approach of the course – very effective teaching technique by using repetition and in class exercises."
• "You learn piece by piece the process throughout the semester to be able to effectively draft/redline contracts."
• "His course is different from the norm and his methods are refreshing. … Professor Toedt's approach allows students to figure out the issue on their own but provides students with the tools necessary to reach an answer (which he then explains/corrects)."
• "… really enjoyed the approach to class and quizzes."
The goal of this course is to help students prepare for a type of assignment they will likely see throughout their careers: that of (sometimes) drafting, (very often) reviewing, analyzing, explaining, and negotiating contracts.
A variation on Socratic method, with in‑class study groups
Don't assume that we will "cover the material" in class. Instead, we'll use a supposedly-new approach known as "flipping the classroom." This approach has become popular in educational circles, because it has been shown to be more effective than the traditional lecture format. See, e.g., Cynthia J. Brame, Flipping the Classroom (Vanderbilt.edu 2013: https://goo.gl/trS6e4).
But flipping the classroom is really just the same thing that law schools have been doing for years: The concept was pioneered by Harvard physics professor Eric Mazur, but he himself cites the law-school case study method as "one of the first implementations of the flipped classroom." The flipped classroom will redefine the role of educators (an interview with Eric Mazur) (Harvard.edu 2013: https://goo.gl/bSdh55).
In this course, we will practice good drafting skills by revising the work of others. Specifically:
- Each week, in small groups during class, we will spend significant class time studying and rewriting selected "wall of words" contract provisions from publicly-available contracts.
- As students do their rewriting, I will walk around and look over their shoulders, sometimes making (quiet) comments.
- In some cases, you'll be asked to clean up your rewrites after class and submit them as (pass-fail) homework, which I'll mark up with comments.
The specific provisions that we rewrite will cover various substantive areas that are often encountered in contract drafting and -review.
This review-and-revise approach reflects what you're almost certain to see when you start out in practice: Contract drafters spend far less time drafting contracts than they do in reviewing and revising others' drafts. Even when you're the one who must prepare the first draft, whoever you're working for will almost always tell you to find a previous form of agreement and modify it, instead of starting from scratch with a blank screen. Our approach in this course reflects that fact as well.
Social proof: In a past semester, one student said:
At first, I was disappointed that the amount of writing was small. [That's no longer the case: We do a lot of REwriting.] I took the course to learn how to write a contract. What I could not see at the time, I was learning the fundamental building blocks individually. By the end of the course, all that was left was to put it together and step back.
Learning to spot and root out ambiguity
In the in-class exercises, we will do a lot of practice in spotting and fixing ambiguities. This is because in the real world, ambiguity might well be the #1 source of contract disputes. Many of the short practice exercises will be drawn from non-legal sources.
Some of the short exercises and quizzes will seem repetitive; they also will seem to jump around from topic to topic. This is a feature, not a bug, because:
- It mirrors what you'll almost certainly see in practice; and
- pedagogically it's been shown to be more effective at promoting long-term memory than lecture and repetitive reading. See generally Spaced retrieval (Wikipedia: https://goo.gl/4PRZTy).
This approach might strike a few students as disorganized. Over the years, though, most students seem to have come to appreciate the value of the approach.
Incidentally, you can do your own spaced-retrieval practice by using the online flashcards. The in-class quizzes and the non-essay portions of the final exam will be drawn very largely from these flashcard questions.
Portions of this syllabus are very likely to be revised in the course of the semester, because:
- we will take advantage of recent news, court cases, etc. For example, when the Stormy Daniels story broke, I searched for and found her nondisclosure agreement with "David Dennison," and the class studied and critiqued it;
- different class sections progress at different rates; and
- sometimes I'll "call an audible" to try to get information across more effectively.
Occasionally a student won't like this, preferring that the course's content instead be set in stone for the semester. But in your law practice, you're highly unlikely to have your weeks or months set in stone, because clients, partners, and judges have a way of inconveniently barging in on your calendar. (The majority of students seem to be OK with the course's approach in this regard.)
2.2.2 Typical class session
Our typical class session will go generally as follows, with possible variations from time to time:
- Only on certain Mondays: a short Blackboard quiz;
- Sometimes, brief "in the news" discussions, to give students a sense of what kinds of situations they and their clients are likely to encounter;
- Sometimes, small-group and whole-class discussion of the reading;
- Review of the homework (if applicable);
- Two or three short exercises;
- One or more rewriting exercises and/or longer discussion exercises;
- Sometimes, a preview of upcoming exercises;
- Sometimes, group discussion of lessons learned.
I'm a practicing attorney and arbitrator; I normally don't have to miss class, but it has been known to happen, e.g., when I've had out-of-town commitments. There have also been times when class has been canceled due to weather, such as what was supposed to have been the first day of class in January 2018. (And on the evening of Game 7 of the 2017 World Series, we canceled the evening class.)
The ABA requires 700 minutes of instruction for each credit hour; that means we need 2,100 minutes of instruction for our three-hour course. I'm planning on 26 scheduled class meetings — in case the Astros get to the World Series again, because Game 7 is on Wednesday, October 31 — and so we must achieve the needed minutes of instruction by either:
- meeting for 80 minutes per class;
- meeting on one of our scheduled makeup days, which will all be on Fridays at the same time as the regular class period;* and/or
- as permitted by ABA rules: doing a few classes (up to one-third) by online discussion group — I haven't figured that out yet, so more details will come later.
* Makeup Fridays for missed Monday classes, in the same time slot as Monday, are Aug. 31; Sept. 28; and Oct. 26. For missed Wednesday classes, the makeup Fridays are Sept 14; Oct. 12; and Nov. 9.
Very few students want to come to a makeup class on a Friday afternoon or ‑evening. So as an alternative to makeup classes, and as recommended by the Law Center's administration:
- we will end each class session at 5:20 p.m. and 7:20 p.m., respectively; and
- we will do some "asynchronous" instruction, e.g., by email and/or Blackboard.
The last day of class will generally include:
- Pizza for the section (4:00 p.m. or 6:00 p.m.) that has the highest average for the quizzes; and
- An overview of the final exam plan;
- A collaborative review of key concepts, using the virtual whiteboards to create a master outline for each group — the virtual whiteboard ( 4:00 p.m. section | 6:00 p.m. section );
- A group discussion of what would make the course and/or the materials more useful to next semester's students, and what didn't work so well, again using the virtual whiteboard;
- Course evaluations, using the UH online system;
- As one last review: a Jeopardy! game.
» I can be reached at email@example.com or (713) 364-6545 (which forwards to my cell); see also my About page.
» Computer use in class is not just encouraged but required; you will need in-class Web access for many of the in-class exercises. If this will be a problem, be sure to contact me well in advance.
(You might, however, want to rethink whether to use laptops in your other classes; see, e.g., this article by a professor at the University of Michigan about how classroom laptop users not only do worse than those who take notes by hand, they also interfere with the learning of non-laptop users around them.)
» On the first class day I will be asking for your email addresses so that I can include it in a class Google Group. Please provide an email address that you check regularly.
2.6 Office hours
As an adjunct professor, I generally don't come to the school except to teach class. By appointment, I'm happy to meet with students:
- in person before or after class;
- by Skype or Zoom.us video; and/or
- by phone.
I respond pretty quickly to email questions.
2.7 Recording my lectures
I don't make audio recordings of my lectures, but I have no objection to students doing so and sharing the recordings with other UHLC students.
Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) can help students who are having difficulties managing stress, adjusting to the demands of a professional program, or feeling sad and hopeless. You can reach CAPS (http://www.uh.edu/caps) by calling 713-743-5454 during and after business hours for routine appointments or if you or someone you know is in crisis. No appointment is necessary for the “Let's Talk” program, a drop-in consultation service at convenient locations and hours around campus. Go to http://www.uh.edu/caps/outreach/lets_talk.html for more information.
The first grouping is alphabetical. The groups will be reshuffled twice during the semester; the reshuffling will be more-or-less random, but with due regard for giving all students an opportunity to work with different people.
4:00 p.m. section
6:00 p.m. section
4:00 p.m. section
6:00 p.m. section
4.1 Flashcards as "reading assignments"
In addition to the reading assignments below, be sure to look through the flashcards to find the ones related to the reading assignment — because:
- the midterm quizzes and part of the final exam will be based in large part on these and future flashcards; and
- by having to scan through the flashcards, in search of the specific flashcards relating to the reading material, you'll get a preview of upcoming concepts and thus help you get yourself up to speed more quickly.
Key takeaways about reps and warranties
Differences between reps and warranties
Scan through the rest of the reps-and-warranties chapter
Look over, in the Verizon-Yahoo stock purchase agreement, just the following: Articles II and III (representations and warranties); section 8.16 (disclosure schedules). Note in particular how disclosure schedules tie in with reps and warranties.
Also in the Verizon-Yahoo stock purchase agreement, look over section 2.15, a set of reps and warranties about real estate; we'll rewrite that section in class next week.
Acknowledgments (not the notary-public kind)
Indemnity- and defense procedures (Common Draft provisions)
- what might constitute "unreasonable" action such as, say, unreasonable withholding of consent to assignment of the agreement); and
- how a drafter, representing a party that might seek consent, might try to negotiate a workable arrangement.
Stanford-Tesla lease agreement: Scan through it in the Supplement, especially the annotations.
Scan through Writing, Briefly, by Paul Graham, noted essayist and multi-millionnaire co-founder of famed tech startup accelerator Y Combinator in Silicon Valley. His short essay breaks several rules but is worth reading.
Amendments by one party: Read Common Draft § 24.16 (unilateral amendments).
Termination of agreement: Read:
And look through:
- Verizon-Yahoo Article VI (termination)
- Stanford-Tesla lease agreement § 4.4 (early termination) and §§ 15.1 and 15.2 (termination for default).
Walkaway rights (i.e., conditions to closing): Read Section 5.02(a) of the Verizon-Yahoo stock purchase agreement (conditions to Purchaser's obligation to close). We will use that as a vehicle for discussing some typical issues that can come up in M&A work.
Ross Guberman, Five Ways to Write Like Justice Kagan (LegalWritingPro.com Mar. 20, 2018)
- Insurance coverage basics
- Insurance certificate basics
- Additional-insured endorsements
- Honeywell terms of purchase, § 24; see also § 10.2, fourth sentence, and § 40.
- Eric A. Berg, Construction One-Minute Read: The Unbearable Lightness of Being an Additional Insured (Feb. 2017)
- Scan through the Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal contracts that have been in the news.
NOTE: I'm posting this now so that students can get a jump on the reading; I'm still reshuffling the specific homework assignments based on experience from past semesters.
Due Aug. XX: Finish up Rewriting exercise: Stanford-Tesla lease agreement triple-net lease (we'll start it in class)
Due Mon. Sept. XX: Rewriting exercise: Consulting-agreement warranties
- School-required average: 3.0 to 3.4
- Final grade based on 500 total points earned
- Class attendance: 50 point "starting bonus" — which can be lost for non‑attendance
- Four quizzes: Every third Wednesday, 200 points total
- "Homework" (peer critique only): 50‑point "starting bonus"
- Homework (graded): 50 points total
- Final exam: 100 points
- Class participation bump-up
School-required average: 3.0 to 3.4
As required by law school policy for a writing class, raw grades will be adjusted proportionally to the extent necessary to make the average of the final class grades fall within the range specified in the heading of this section. (My usual practice — but not a guaranteed one — is to "move the curve" up or down as necessary so that the average is as close as practicable to the high end of the required range.)
Final grade based on 500 total points earned
Your course grade will be based on how many points you earn out of 500 total possible points, as explained below.
The class attendance policy arises from the fact that we will be doing:
- a significant amount of in-class discussion; and
- a significant number of in-class exercises, in two- to four-person teams.*
* Notice how it’s a significant amount of discussion, versus a significant number of exercises, as explained in the Grammarist.com discussion.
Consequently, it's important for all students to attend each class, not just for their own benefit, but so that their teams won't be shorthanded.
ABA accreditation rules and school policy require attendance at 80% of the class meetings for each course. We will meet a total of 26 times; rounding to the nearest whole number of classes, a student therefore must attend at least 21 class periods to comply with the 80% rule.
Every student starts out with 50 "freebie" points for class attendance, but can lose points for missing class, as follows:
|TOTAL CLASSES MISSED||TOTAL POINTS LOST|
|5 or more||all 50|
This means, of course, that students who miss more than one class will have to do that much better on the final, the quizzes, and homework in order to keep up with their classmates on the school-required average.
- I don't count absences for "official" law school travel, e.g., for moot-court competitions, etc., as long as I'm informed in advance.
- I also don't count up to two absences for illness — if you're ill, please don't come to class and infect the rest of us. Please email me if you'll be absent for illness; I'll take your word for it without a doctor's note.
- Other absences, e.g., for job interviews, office visits, work trips, etc., will be counted as missed classes and will lose points as set forth above; please schedule accordingly.
If I see that one or more students are missing, I will circulate an attendance sign-in sheet. If I see that everyone is present, I normally won't bother doing so.
For regular "classroom" sessions, I no longer let students attend remotely, because experience has shown that realistically, remote attenders don't participate in the class discussion.
We will have an on-line quiz, administered via Blackboard, at the beginning of class on the following Wednesdays:
Each quiz will:
- be timed for five- to ten minutes (people with accommodations can get extra time — ask Dean Tennessee to let me know if you're one of those people);
- consist of up to 40 true-false, multiple-choice, fill-in-the-blank, and "micro-essay" (short answer) questions, and very likely more questions than most people can answer in the allotted time;
- cover only the following:
- the readings assigned up through and including the quiz date, whether or not we discuss any particular topic in class;
- the associated online flashcards at https://goo.gl/o5gG5M; and
- anything in the in-class and homework exercises that we have done to date — the quizzes themselves will thus serve as a reinforcing review that takes advantage of the testing effect;
- be closed-book, closed-notes;
- be graded largely anonymously:—
- For "quizzes" in Blackboard, the Blackboard software shows me students' names. I can't do anything about that, but Blackboard also automatically grades the true-false, multiple-choice, and fill-in-the-blank ("FITB") questions.
- In the Blackboard "quizzes," I review the fill-in-the-blank answers so that I can give credit for simple misspellings, which Blackboard can't always pick up. (I program the quizzes on Blackboard to accept as many misspellings as I can think of, but you'd be surprised how … creative students can be ….).
- If a quiz includes any micro-essays, you'll submit it in the form of an "assignment" on Blackboard; I configure such assignments so that I don't see students' names until I've graded all of the assignments.
In past quizzes, a few students have gotten the right answer to every question on every quiz. In response, one student suggested that I should "[d]esign quizzes to have a wider score distribution." I continue to try to do so, but I'm far more interested in having as many students really learn as much as possible of what I regard as necessary material, than I am in sorting the students into a grade distribution; consequently, I'm not at all unhappy if lots of students get perfect scores on the quizzes.
Each of five short writing assignments will be done as follows:
- The assignment will be started in small-group discussions in class.
- Each student is to finish up the assignment individually on his- or her own.
- Each student is to bring a hard copy of the finished assignment to the next class.
- In that (next) class, the small groups will exchange papers, so that (for example) Group 3 will critique Group 2's papers, Group 2 will critique Group 1's papers, and Group 1 will critique Group 3's papers.
- Students will turn in their papers for me to glance over, but not necessarily review in detail.
- The only ways to lose points for the assignment are (i) not to turn in a paper at all, and (ii) not to make at least a good faith effort.
WARNING: In one past semester, a student failed the course — even though the student had received a (very-low) passing grade on the final exam — and therefore didn't graduate that semester as planned, because the student had turned in almost none of the pass-fail homework assignments.
Students will complete two major homework assignments and upload them to Blackboard for grading. (This is a change from past semesters; I'll post the assignments in due course.)
The final exam will be December 5, 2018, 6 to 7 p.m. (both course sections). The exam will:
- be one hour in length;
- consist in large part of what amounts to a mid-term quiz on steroids, namely true-false, multiple-choice, fill-in-the-blank, and "micro-essay" (short answer) questions, administered via Blackboard, drawn or adapted mainly from the online flashcards at https://goo.gl/o5gG5M (I will be adding to these flashcards as the semester progresses);
- take place in the to-be-designated final-exam room; and
- be closed-book, closed-notes.
What's fair game for the final exam? Anything:—
- in the reading materials;
- in the homework, quizzes, and in-class exercises.
The honor code will of course apply.
As permitted by law-school policy, I reserve the right:
- to award discretionary increases in student grades by one-third of a grade level for excellent class participation, e.g., from a B to a B-plus, assuming that this doesn't cause the class average to exceed the maximum permitted; and
- to reduce grades for sub-standard class participation. In the past I said I would not do that; in recent semesters, though, I've had a couple of students for whom it was like pulling teeth to get them to participate even minimally.
7.1.1 Exercise: Streamlining sentences
In your small groups, discuss how to trim out the "fat" from the following sentence:—
The team held a meeting to give consideration to the issue.
Well I'm not the world's most masculine man
But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man
And so is Lohhh-lahhh
Lo lo lo lo Lohhh-lahhh. Lo lo lo lo Lohhh-lahhhh
QUESTION: When the artists sing, "And so is Lola," what exactly is Lola?
EXERCISE: In your small groups, discuss how this could be clarified (don't worry about rhyme or meter).
7.1.3 Exercise: Selling your laptop
FACTS: You are a new lawyer, licensed to practice in Texas. Here in Houston, "Alice"* is selling her 2012 Macbook Air laptop computer to "Bob" for USD $ 500. You represent Bob, who has asked you to draw up a contract for the sale.
* In the tech world, communications protocols are often illustrated by using fictional characters Alice, Bob, Carol, Dave, Eve, Fred, etc.)
EXERCISE: In Microsoft Word, put together the simplest bare-bones contract you can think of for this transaction.
- Student introductions:
- 2L? 3L? LLM?
- Career intentions
- Undergraduate school & degree
- Work experience
- Previous contract experience
- Small-group assignments
- Provide email addresses in the virtual whiteboard ( 4:00 p.m. section | 6:00 p.m. section )
- First in-class exercise: Where did Professor Toedt go to law school, and what did he do between college and law school? Reason: It's a good idea to look up the people on the other side of a contract negotiation — or for that matter, anyone else you'll be dealing with. Google and LinkedIn are extremely useful for that purpose.
- PSA requested by the University: Counseling is available.
In your small groups, discuss the following — feel free to look up whatever you need to in the general course information.
1. QUESTION: How many points on your final grade can you earn for turning in all peer-critique homework? 
2. QUESTION: According to the syllabus, what could happen if you didn’t turn in any homework?
A. You could still pass the course, but you'd have to make up the missing points.
B. Your grade will be dropped by one letter, e.g., A- to B- etc.
C. No adverse consequences, other than not getting the benefit of the work.
D. You will not be able to accumulate enough points to pass the course. 
3. QUESTION: According to the syllabus, to what extent are you allowed to collaborate with classmates in doing homework, and what are you supposed to do if you do collaborate? 
4. QUESTION: In Microsoft Word, what's the best way to put space between paragraphs for improved readability?
A. Format the individual paragraph.
B. Format the style of the paragraph.
C. Include an extra blank line.
D. Indent the first line. 
7.1.6 Thumbsucker questions: Goals, etc.
For discussion, in small groups:
- In your practice, do you expect you'll be doing more drafting of contracts, or more review of drafts that others have prepared? Explain.
- What do you think are the main goals of a contract drafter or reviewer?
- In abstract terms, what do you think is the client's overarching goal in negotiating a contract?
- What do you think is likely to be the worst bottleneck in getting a contract to signature?
- What kind of contract language do you think business lawyers should aspire to write?
- TRUE OR FALSE: A contract drafter should strive to anticipate and address all harms to the client that might occur in the course of the parties' relationship.
7.1.7 Preview question: Vagueness vs. ambiguituy
QUESTION: What is a "vague" term? What is an "ambiguous" term?
- Quickly review the ten basic writing rules (you've already looked them over once, right?)
- In the virtual whiteboard ( 4:00 p.m. section | 6:00 p.m. section ), compile a list of what you regard as:
- the two rules that, in your view, you're most likely to see others violate; and
- the two rules that you think you're most likely to violate.
7.2.2 Short exercise: Drafting problems with a contract (1)
From a contract drafted by The Other Side of a deal (sanitized):
Within thirty (60) days of the close of previous quarter term, ABC shall provide XYZ with a revenue report that provides a total amount of Data Revenue and Software Revenue obtained by ABC during the referenced quarter term, minus any associated costs or expenses and customer returns or refunds ("Revenue Report").
- Any drafting problems with this?
- Ignoring the substance, how might this be otherwise improved to make it more readable?
ANSWERS: (DCT to show his version)
7.2.3 Short exercise: Streamlining sentences (2)
How can this be streamlined?
Before: We will make a distribution of shares.
7.2.4 Read-along lecture: Rewriting a wall of words
Reading: Simplifying an existing provision
On your own computer (i.e., not in your virtual whiteboard), break up the following, which is from a Collaborative Research and License Agreement between Pfizer and Rigel Pharmaceuticals:
EDITED 1/29/18: We'll take this one step at a time.
9.2.12 PATENTS AND TRADEMARKS. To the best of its knowledge (but without having conducted any special investigation), Rigel owns or possesses sufficient legal rights to all patents, trademarks, service marks, trade names, copyrights, trade secrets, licenses, information, and proprietary rights and processes (including technology currently licensed from Stanford University) necessary for its business as now conducted and as proposed to be conducted without any conflict with, or infringement of the rights of, others. Rigel currently licenses certain technology from Stanford University (the "Licensed Technology") on an "as is" basis, with no representation or warranty from Stanford University that such technology does not infringe the proprietary rights of others. To Rigel's knowledge, Rigel has not, as of the date hereof, received any claims from any third party alleging that the use of the Licensed Technology infringes the proprietary rights of such party. Except for agreements with its own employees or consultants and standard end-user license agreements, there are no outstanding options, licenses, or agreements of any kind relating to the foregoing, nor is Rigel bound by or a party to any options, licenses, or agreements of any kind with respect to the patents, trademarks, service marks, trade names, copyrights, trade secrets, licenses, information, and proprietary rights and processes of any other person or entity, other than the license agreements with Janssen Pharmaceutica N.V., Stanford University, SUNY, and BASF. Rigel has not received any communications alleging that Rigel has violated or, by conducting its business as proposed, would violate any of the patents, trademarks, service marks, trade names, copyrights, trade secrets, or other proprietary rights or processes of any other person or entity. Rigel is not aware that any of its employees is obligated under any contract (including licenses, covenants, or commitments of any nature) or other agreement, or subject to any judgment, decree, or order of any court or administrative agency, that would interfere with the use of such employee's best efforts to promote the interests of Rigel or that would conflict with Rigel's business as proposed to be conducted. Neither the execution nor delivery of this Agreement, nor the carrying on of Rigel's business by the employees of Rigel, nor the conduct of Rigel's business as proposed, will, to the best of Rigel's knowledge, conflict with or result in a breach of the terms, conditions, or provisions of, or constitute a default under, any contract, covenant, or instrument under which any of such employees is now obligated. Rigel is not aware of any violation by a third party of any of Rigel's patents, licenses, trademarks, service marks, tradenames, copyrights, trade secrets or other proprietary rights.
7.3.1 Short exercise: Streamlining sentences (3)
Consider the following sentence — each student is to rewrite the sentence in Microsoft Word; we'll then compare notes.
Before: We will provide appropriate information to shareholders.
7.3.2 Short exercise: Carbolic acid and Queen Victoria
From this NPR piece:
[Joseph] Lister was the closest surgeon to [Queen Victoria's] residence in Scotland, Fitzharris says, so she directed Lister to come drain a large abscess growing under her armpit. Before the surgery, Lister's assistant sprayed carbolic acid with a machine Lister invented called the donkey engine all over the operation area, sterilizing it but also accidentally spraying the queen in the face.
QUESTION: How could the italicized text be rewritten to "flow" better? (Hint: Consider rewriting it so that it would sound more-natural if read aloud — which isn't bad advice for any writing.)
7.3.3 Continue last week's rewriting exercise (if necessary)
We'll continue the rewriting exercise that we started last Wednesday, one step at a time.
7.3.4 The Rigel wall of words: DCT's rewrite
Here's how I might rewrite the Rigel representations and warranties below, with selected revisions "redlined":
Here it is again without the redlines:
7.3.6 Ambiguity exercise: Success
From a Facebook posting: "A man's success has a lot to do with the kind of woman he chooses to have in his life. (Pass this on to all great women.)"
QUESTION: What's a different interpretation of this quote?
7.3.7 Ambiguity exercise: An elephant takes a selfie?
From this tweet: "Man trampled to death by elephant trying to take a SELFIE"
See this sign.
- 7.4.1. News: A CarMax warranty limitation
- 7.4.2. Exercise: Preamble questions (Rick's Cabaret)
- 7.4.3. Discussion: Title and preamble (Stanford-Tesla lease)
- 7.4.4. News: AAA accused of wage shorting
- 7.4.5. Exercise: Streamlining sentences (5)
- 7.4.6. Grammar fail: Homosexuality and the Texas GOP's platform (2016)
- 7.4.7. Exercise: Title and preamble (consulting agreement)
- 7.4.8. Preview: Recitals (Rick's Cabaret)
7.4.1 News: A CarMax warranty limitation
TEXT: In California, an automobile sales contract disclaimed implied warranties beyond the remedies set forth in an express warranty, which stated: “The dealer will pay 100% of the labor and 100% of the parts for the covered systems that fail during the warranty period." The contract also limited the customer's remedies to those stated in the contract. Gutierrez v. CarMax Auto Superstores California LLC, No. F073215, slip op. at 12 (Cal. App. Jan. 30, 2018).
FACTS: Gutierrez bought the car on May 5, 2013. The car started having transmission problems, including making a grinding noise and having trouble accelerating in traffic. Gutierrez took the car to the dealer for warranty work on June 7. See id., slip op. at 5.
QUESTION 1: Was the transmission trouble covered by the warranty?
QUESTION 2: If CarMax engaged you to review the warranty provision, what if any advice might you give about its wording? (Hint: Consider the problems of proof.)
7.4.2 Exercise: Preamble questions (Rick's Cabaret)
The provision below, at https://goo.gl/DRbLRw (edgar.sec.gov), is from a 2008 real-estate purchase agreement involving the parent company of "gentleman's club" Rick's Cabaret:
THIS REAL ESTATE PURCHASE AND SALE AGREEMENT (this "Agreement") is made and entered into by and between WIRE WAY, LLC, a Texas limited liability company ("Seller"), and RCI HOLDINGS, INC., a Texas corporation ("Purchaser"), pursuant to the terms and conditions set forth herein.
QUESTION: What if any other information might you want to include in this preamble?
7.4.3 Discussion: Title and preamble (Stanford-Tesla lease)
THIS LEASE is entered into as of July 25, 2007 (the “Effective Date”), by and between THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES OF THE LELAND STANFORD JUNIOR UNIVERSITY, a body having corporate powers under the laws of the State of California (“Landlord”), and TESLA MOTORS, INC., a Delaware corporation (“Tenant”).
1. BASIC LEASE INFORMATION. The following is a summary of basic lease information. Each item in this Article 1 incorporates all of the terms set forth in this Lease pertaining to such item and to the extent there is any conflict between the provisions of this Article 1 and any other provisions of this Lease, the other provisions shall control. Any capitalized term not defined in this Lease shall have the meaning set forth in the Glossary that appears at the end of this Lease.
Address of Premises: 300 El Camino Real, Menlo Park, California
Term: Five (5) years
Scheduled Date for Delivery of Premises: August 1, 2007
Commencement Date: August 1, 2007
Expiration Date: July 31, 2012
Year One: $60,000 ($5,000 per month) Year Two: $90,000 ($7,500 per month) Year Three: $120,000 ($10,000 per month) Year Four: $165,000 ($13,750 per month) Year Five: $165,000 ($13,750 per month
QUESTIONS FOR CLASS DISCUSSION:
- Is "Commercial Lease" the proper term, or should it be "Commercial Lease Agreement"? 
- Why state that the Lease is entered into "as of July 25, 2007"? 
- Why do you think the names of the parties are capitalized? 
- What might be some of the pros and cons of including this kind of "Basic Lease Information" at the beginning of the agreement document, instead of including it "in-line" in the appropriate section(s) of the agreement? 
- To what extent is the "Each item in this Article 1 incorporates …" worth including? 
- What could go wrong with the italicized portion, "to the extent there is any conflict …"? 
- Note the mention of the Glossary in the last sentence of the first paragraph — where are some other places to include definitions for defined terms? 
- Any comments about the way the "Term: Five (5) years" portion is stated? How about the way that the Base Rent amounts are stated? 
7.4.4 News: AAA accused of wage shorting
Source: L.M. Sixel, Tow driver says AAA shorts him and others on wages (HoustonChronicle.com Jan. 29, 2018)
Relevance: Just because a contract says, The parties are independent contractors, that doesn't mean a court will rule that way — especially if one of the parties claims to be an employee of the other.
Additional reading (optional for now): Here.
7.4.5 Exercise: Streamlining sentences (5)
How could the following be streamlined?
Before: There is the possibility of prior Board approval of these investments.
From the Texas GOP platform of 2016: "Homosexuality is a chosen behavior that is contrary to the fundamental unchanging truths that has been ordained by God in the Bible, recognized by our nations founders, and shared by the majority of Texans." See, e.g., the NPR story.
7.4.7 Exercise: Title and preamble (consulting agreement)
The provision below comes from an agreement form used by a company in the oil and gas business:
Consulting Services Agreement
This Consulting Services Contract (the "Agreement") dated [omitted] is entered into by and between [omitted], a Delaware corporation, and its affiliate companies (collectively "Company") and [omitted], a Texas corporation ("Consultant"), sometimes referred to herein individually as a "Party" or collectively as "Parties". This Agreement shall be effective on the earlier of the date that the services commence or the date that both Parties have executed the Agreement (the "Effective Date"). This agreement is entered into solely between the Company and Consultant, and no third party beneficiaries are created, except as expressly otherwise provided herein
QUESTIONS FOR CLASS DISCUSSION:
- What if any other information might you want to include in the preamble?
- Any thoughts about "and its affiliate companies"?
- At the end of the first sentence, is the period where it should be for U.S. usage?
The provision below, at https://goo.gl/DRbLRw (edgar.sec.gov), is from a 2008 real-estate purchase agreement involving the parent company of "gentleman's club" Rick's Cabaret:
You're to redraft the "Whereas" clauses below (from an actual contract). First, some background about the transaction and the contract:
- Wire Way LLC owned land and a building, in Dallas, that was home to an "adult entertainment club" (that is to say, a strip club) known as "Platinum Club II."
- The club was apparently operated by another company, North by East Entertainment, Ltd.; it's not clear what relationship existed between North by East and Wire Way LLC, the owner of the land and building.
- Rick's Cabaret wanted to buy out the club; under the agreement, it would do so with a semi-complicated transaction:
- In a related transaction, North by East (the operator of the club) would sell the assets of the club business to RCI Entertainment (Northwest Highway) Inc. ("RCI Entertainment"), which was [and is] a subsidiary of Rick's Cabaret International ("Rick's") [now named RCI Hospitality Holdings Inc.];
- In another related transaction, Wire Way LLC would lease the land and building to RCI Entertainment; and
- In the agreement we're studying now, Wire Way LLC would sell the land and building to RCI Holdings, Inc., which also was [and is] a subsidiary of Rick's.
ASSIGNMENT: Rewrite the "Whereas" provisions below as a "Background" section in plain English. Tell the story — not too informally, but not in a stilted, legalesey manner either.
WHEREAS, Seller is the owner of a certain real property consisting of approximately 4.637± acres of land, together with all rights, (excepting for mineral rights as set forth below), title and interests of Seller in and to any and all improvements and appurtenances exclusively belonging or pertaining thereto (the "Property") located at 10557 Wire Way, Dallas (the "City"), Dallas County, Texas, which Property is more particularly described on Exhibit A attached hereto and incorporated herein by reference; and
WHEREAS, contemporaneously with the execution of this Agreement, North by East Entertainment, Ltd., a Texas limited partnership ("North by East"), is entering into an agreement with RCI Entertainment (Northwest Highway), Inc., a Texas corporation ("RCI Entertainment"), a wholly owned subsidiary of Rick's Cabaret International, Inc., a Texas corporation ("Rick's") for the sale and purchase of the assets of the business more commonly known as "Platinum Club II" that operates from and at the Property ("Asset Purchase Agreement"); and
WHEREAS, subject to and simultaneously with the closing of the Asset Purchase Agreement, Seller will enter into a lease with RCI Entertainment, as Tenant, for the Property, dated to be effective as of the closing date, as defined in the Asset Purchase Agreement (the "Lease") attached hereto as Exhibit B and incorporated herein by reference; and
WHEREAS, subject to the closing of the Asset Purchase Agreement, the execution and acceptance by Seller of the Lease, and pursuant to the terms and provisions contained herein, Seller desires to sell and convey to Purchaser and Purchaser desires to purchase the Property.
NOW, THEREFORE, for and in consideration of the premises and mutual covenants and conditions contained herein, and other good and valuable consideration, the receipt and sufficiency of which are hereby acknowledged, the parties hereto agree as follows: